Here’s the thing, with this blog I want to express my opinions honestly. I want to open about how difficult and painful transitioning it. It’s not all before and after shots showing super masculine, cis passing men. I wish it was, but is just isn’t, there is a lot more to it all. There are different types of transgender male, and there is a lot of hate within the ‘walls’ of my community towards each other. In this blog I am going to talk about the hate feminine transgender males get from more masculine transgender guys. I may also talk about non binary people. I will almost defiantly say thing that not everyone will agree, say the kinds of things that lead femme guys to call masc guys transphobic. But this is my ‘Honest Trans Guy’ views, so I will do my best to be as honest as possible.
It is common misconception that all Trans men are very masculine, this simply isn’t true of course you get some Trans men who are ultra-masculine but there are many that aren’t either because they are more androgynous or even feminine. Personally I would say I was I am masculine, sure there are some feminine things about me, but as I was raised female I don’t think that’s uncommon. There is a small number of ultra-masculine Trans males who think that feminine Trans guy shouldn’t be wearing makeup and dresses etc. I have seen masc trans guys tell femme trans guys, that they aren’t really trans, that they are how can you say you are a male and then present purely female and even just plain call them females.
Here is the thing, I completely see the masc guys point and on a general level I agree, I do think if you put on makeup and wear a dress people are going to assume you are female, and if you are a transgender male and do those things, you can’t bitch about being misgendered as female. Most doctors that work with transgender people will use how you dress and present as part of their assessment for hormones and surgery. Also there are a large portion of cisgender people who think that ALL transgender people are just looking for attention, and transgender male who only present as female, by wearing makeup and dress etc. aren’t helping the community in anyway.
There is also a rising argument of there being no right way to be transgender, which again I disagree with transgender is defined as “a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.” Well that is kind of the only way to be transgender, sure that doesn’t mean you have to be ultra-masculine but it doesn’t mean to be transgender you have to transition from one gender to the other.
I will also say that whilst I do think that transgender men shouldn’t present female, wear makeup and dresses etc. do NOT give anyone the right to degrade them, there is the right way to communicate an opinion and it isn’t being by name calling or pure aggression, all that does is make you seem like a giant asshole. However equally a transgender masculine male is NOT transphobic for telling a feminine transgender male not to wear makeup or dresses. Transphobia is defined as “prejudice against transgender people,” I would say that most of the disagreement with feminine trans guy come from a place of frustration, frustration that their behaviour and presentation just fuels the cisgender argument that ALL transgender people just want attention. Being transgender is extremely hard and when masculine people fight daily to be seen as male by all cisgender people and then they see, normally young transgender guys who don’t try to present female and making the problem harder for masculine guys. This doesn’t make the behaviour of some right but it does give it a reason.
Another argument I see happening a lot at the moment is about if non-binary people belong in the transgender community, and in a few cases doubting if non-binary is even a thing. In more recent terms transgender is being used as an umbrella term for anyone who doesn’t identify with their birth sex. This is a much harder thing to have an opinion on, I haven’t spoken to many people who identifies as non-binary before so I’ve not had the opportunity to hear a wide range of explanations of what being non-binary means. I do think that maybe non-binary people deserve their own community with people who understand what each other are going through, because their need, experiences and expression differs vastly from that of a transitioning transgender people.
I have also seen piece of information saying there should be a third gender that I strongly disagree with. There is male (cisgender and transgender) and female (cisgender and transgender), anyone who is non-binary doesn’t fall into the ‘gender binary’. Creating a third gender inside the binary would surely go against the idea of being non-binary?